I can tell by some people’s reactions that “lamehousewife” causes some consternation. Some people laugh, which is awesome. Some people just have this look of “I don’t know what she means by that.” Some wonder if I am degrading myself or if I am degrading housewives. So, I figured I had better write something to clarify why I named my blog “Lame Housewife.”
- It is crippling to a mother to have the father of her children not be around to be her helpmate in raising a family. She has to work doubly, triply, maybe even quadrupley hard to make sure that her children are not neglected by her as well, but she only has one body.
- Mortal sin leaves crippling effects on all those around you. I know because I am a sinner and know that my own sins have crippled my ability to be in relationships not only with God but with others. When I realized my inability to go on without spiritual healing because I denied God, I felt lame–immovable and confused. I needed THE HEALER. At this time in my life, God repeated the words stand up, pick up your mat, and go home (Mark 9:1-7). He recovered me when I was spiritually lame by showing me the Way back to Him.
- Being a housewife is not popular; it is considered “lame” to not be driven to some other type of career; it is not cool in many people’s eyes. St. Francis De Sales gave me great comfort when he said that we are not called to do what is popular but what is best. I still feel that it is best to be home and make “home” as much as possible; for that, I am considered to be lame.
- On a lighter note, I trip and fall up stairs, say stupid things, have snot on my shirt from my boys, forget to do things like put the lid down on the washer, push on pull-only doors, and drive over curbs. This, of course, is me just being lame.
With that said, I want to describe some differences between lame and desperate housewives (btw-I have never seen the show because the ads for it look terrible). This is for all housewives, abandoned or married.
- Lame means realizing that we have limitations and that there are such things as good boundaries. Desperate doesn’t acknowledge those limitations and boundaries so she (or he) desperately tries chase after things that are not hers.
- Lame has the effects of authentic self-knowledge; Desperate doesn’t want to know.
- Lame emphasizes and nourishes those around her by sharing her gifts of womanhood. Desperate doesn’t believe womanhood has gifts so she doesn’t share.
- Lame lives in reality with patience, joy, diligence, and determination; Desperate tries to live a fantasy because she hates what she already has.
- Lame finds her dignity in God; Desperate looks for dignity in superficial and temporal things.
- Lame seeks virtue, true and deep beauty, kindness and peace; Desperate is highly interested in instant gratification, the latest trends, her own looks, which she tries to stop from fading, and whatever will go her way in the shortest amount of time.
- Lame shows strength during times of suffering, or that is at least her goal; Desperate weakens and whines, complains, not to find a solution, but to hear her own voice, lashing out not because she is a victim but because she is having a temper tantrum since she wants everything to go her way, and she wants what she cannot have since she thinks everything is hers.
- Lame seeks strength, courage, integrity; Desperate just wants people to feel sorry for her broken nail.
- Lame finds her original tempo, even if it is slow or even if it hobbles; she advances. Desperate is not satisfied with her own tempo so she tries everyone else’s.
- Lame seeks moderation, gentleness, acceptance, self-control, and balance; Desperate finds herself being erratic, hot then cold, near then far, yes then no.
- Lame sees a victory coming; Desperate tries to achieve the victory only for herself.
- Lame seeks faithfulness, piety, morality, reverence, the decrease of evil, fruitful love, what is good for God, self, and neighbor; Desperate tramples on anyone who gets in her way, a tyrant.
- Lame always tries to find the way of Love; Desperate falls into the negation of love.
- Lame seeks Jesus, desires to imitate His sacrificial love, and His generosity; Desperate likes her selfishness and thinks that it is good.
You see, lame is not so bad after all. But wait! If you feel that you are more desperate than lame, do not worry. Go to Jesus. I know so much about Desperate because she was me, and still tries to take over, but with the grace that Jesus can bestow and with my subsequent cooperation, she’s not really as tough as she has made herself out to be. There is so much hope in following Jesus no matter how lame or desperate you may be!